The Unseen Thread: Diary of the Grandmother

A glimpse into the life of an unnamed ancestor

Inspired by records from my family’s lineage book, which traces our ancestry 2500 years to Zeng Shen (Zengzi), philosopher and disciple of Confucius, this project begins with the imagined diary of his grandmother, a woman whose name history never recorded.

You can read the project introduction here.

“Spring Outing of the Tang Court” (8th century CE). Public domain.

Historical context:

In 495 BCE, during the final years of the Spring and Autumn period in ancient China, the Zhou dynasty is unraveling. Feudal states rise and fall, borders shift, and new voices begin to search for balance in the chaos. Among them is Confucius, whose teachings begin to spread through the courts and villages. One of his students, Zeng Dian (Zixi), serves as an official in the State of Lu (now Shandong province). His mother, the grandmother of the philosopher Zengzi, is the voice imagined here.

Before the Dao De Jing spoke of the Way, there were women already living it.

Lu, late autumn

I heard the birds singing when I woke this morning. Their calls rose through the courtyard just as the mist was beginning to lift from the trees. The air smelled like rain. Winter feels close, earlier than usual. What struck me was the contrast between the quiet of the morning and the warring state of things beyond our village.

Life has always been like this, it seems. Balancing so many elements at once. Peace with war, song with sorrow, love with death. My mother used to tell me the Way lives in these shifts, in the spaces between one thing and another. She taught me to trust the seasons, the ebbs and flows, and the patterns larger than us.

Beyond the courtyard walls, men argue about virtue and power. I hear their voices drift in, hard-edged and impatient. They speak of endings and beginnings, though I have come to see they are the same thing.

What comforts me now is knowing that my son Dian is studying with Confucius. And my grandson Shen is bright and restless. He’s always asking questions, just as his father did when he was young. I wonder if this new way of thinking will lead us toward a different future, something beyond these unsettling times. Perhaps there is wisdom in these teachings that will help guide us toward harmony instead of division.

Later today I will make offerings at the family altar. I’ll light incense for my parents and prepare a small bowl of sesame paste by hand as my mother once did. Sometimes I feel her beside me. These gestures are small, but they remind me of who we are and how we stay connected to those who came before us.

I know that my mother was right. The Way is something that moves through us as we live, a connection to all things.

Grandmother and her grandson, young Zeng Shen (later known as Zengzi), imagined c. 495 BCE

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Created in collaboration with ancestral memory, historical record, and artificial intelligence.

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